Resident Tubby
by Gertyflea
Summary: A mighty play of the Resident Evil story. Including even more death to annoying children's entertainers. The sequel to Teletubbies vs.Tweenies.


Hello. This is the sequel to the original story, Teletubbies vs. Tweenies. Please read that first. Enjoy and review.

Resident Tubby

One fateful day, in the middle of whocaresville in a building which is most likely to have no apparent use in this tale of woe, there was a scientist. Needless to say, this scientist had nothing to do with the storyline, just a useless way to design a plot. Well, one day he 'accidentally' knocked over a jar of evil bacteria just in the way that would make a stupid series of events, such as this. The bacteria escaped out of an open window. It all would've been okay if just the humans turned into vicious killer zombies, but it wasn't to be…The dreaded zombie making bacteria found its way into Tubby land, causing impending doom on the whole world. Suddenly from out of the ground, a purple fist burst through the cheap ass soil/grass. They had come.

Ever since the first tale, Noo Noo had opened up his own dojo and had trained a crack team of warriors in the art of Noo fu. Since then, they went around saving the world from destruction by annihilating other childrens programs and presenters, such as the Fimbles and the Boo Bahs. But it was about to change. The hoover phone rang. Noo Noo picked it up (huh?) and made some weird sucking and bleeping noises. Judging by the look on Noo Noo's cheap plastic face (god knows how), it was trouble. With another few bleeps from Noo Noo, him and his crack team of warriors sped of to do battle. By the way, they have not been introduced, not that you care anyway. Well, their names are Bill, Bob, Billy Bob, Bobbina and Cedric. They rushed to whocaresville, which is in the county of crapperland and prepared for battle. There were reports of the teletubbies causing havoc. This is what confused Noo Noo. He'd seen them all get brutally slaughtered by the Tweenies (See Teletubbies vs. Tweenies).

When they finally got there, they saw a terrible sight. Thousands upon thousands of childrens entertainers were terrorizing the streets. But it got worse, they were all killer zombies, and now most of the world was to. Suddenly the infamous quartet of cheaply dressed childrens entertainers spun round to glare at the new adversaries. They each boasted half rotten bodies with guts and entrails spilling out across the floor. It was nasty enough for any one to stop eating their morning toast.

"Get them" cried the zombie Dipsy, as his tiny brain slid out of his rotting head and onto the floor, smearing brain juice his now poo brown crappy and cheap costume. The battle begun. Bobbina started by drawing her sai and stabbing it into the overly obese body of the orange Boo Bah. Seeing the sight of the mass amount of blood with the texture of turd, she slashed the critically obese childrens entertainers head off, causing more turd blood to go over everyone else. Noo Noo fought of hundreds his cheap plastic hoover nozzle ripping up thousands of them, he slashed Po's arm of and quickly pulled out an AK- 47 and ripped up the body of the Zombie Fizz. But it was over for Noo Noo. From somewhere behind the heroic hoover, the rotting hulk of Miss Hooley leapt at him and grabbed his hoover nozzle, now defenceless it was hopeless. Dipsy and all of the other crappy childrens entertainers grabbed him and tore him into chunks of cheap plastic, probably obtained by melting plastic bottle caps found off the street.

"No!" screeched Bob, as he gave one of the Fimbles a heavy round of shotgun fire to its face, causing it head to burst making all the pieces spread everwhere, making a possibly incredibly hard jigsaw. He whirled round to find the infamous gun of La La, the Tubby custard Gun pointing in his face. A gout of crappy custard coated him and he was disintegrated him into a pile of muck on the floor.

"Man Down" screeched Cedric as he battered to death the gay looking frog from the Fimbles with his tonfas. From out of the Blue, came Archie (from Balamory) who dived upon Cedric, sucking his brain out leaving the dead carcass of Cedric to rot upon the floor.

"Retreat!" yelled Bill, assuming that he was now the leader of them all.

As they jumped in the Hoover-Mobile (constructed by the crappy plastic hoover himself) the gang of rotting childrens entertainers (well, not for children anymore) gave hot pursuit. Yet again, the infamous scooter of Po went into action. She skilfully crashed into all the obstacles in her way just like any person who tries to drive a cheapass scooter which has probably been gained from a rubbish tip while wearing a turd coloured outfit with the softness which is the equivalent of lying on a bed consisting of bags of hedgehogs. Ouch. She let out a hail of uzi fire which somehow (due to her terrible accuracy) found its way into the head of the blue boo bah, causing it's head to implode like the destruction of a star, causing blue chunks of god knows what to go spurting everywhere in a wave of blood. It looked like the remainder of Noo Noo's warriors were about to escape. They drove into tubby land, with Po in tail. That was when the zombie Fizz arose. Pointing her RPG in the general direction of the Hoover-Mobile she let rip, causing a high explosive shell to penetrate the bullet proof glass killing Billy Bob instantly. Shards of cheap plastic were thrown into the air and came raining down upon the marauding gang of zombie childrens actors, who had just managed to catch up with the crappy scooter. One of these bodies was that of Tinky Winky, who was ripped apart, sending equal quantities of purple crap everywhere. Knowing that their adversaries were most likely slain, they subsided, probably to annoy someone with their scatty programs. They were wrong Bobbina crawled out of the ruins of the Hoover-Mobile, with the unconscious body of Bill and seeked refuge inside the dusty old home which was totally nicked out of the Hobbit. She layed Bill down and sat in the corner (even though the house is circular.?.) and wept, in the matter of a few minutes, she had lost four of her friends. Suddenly, she heard something coming from the door. She drew her Sai and whirled round to find a rather decrepit looking white bear staring at her face, right up close.

"Who are you?" asked Bobbina, obviously wary of the situation.

"Me?" said the grey clad bear. "I am Rupert the Bear!"

Bobbina looked in disbelief. The actual Rupert. Though he did look down on times. He clutched a half empty whisky bottle in his hand and it looked like he now had a real swearing problem. "I'm the real f-ing Rupert and don't you accept no other f-ing Rupert".

"So Rupert" asked Bobbina. "Why are you here in this cliché' story?"

"Well" Rupert said, taking a swig of the whisky, "after my show was kicked of the network, I wandered around the f -ingstreets of f-ing America searching for something else to be in, but the bastards wouldn't have it, No. They brought on all these crappy childrens entertainers like the Teletubbies, so I just lived on the f-ing streets, living in hatred of them.

"Really!" Bobbina said alarmingly, "they just took over the world"

"Damn those f-ing bastards, I want to kill them all." Suddenly, Bobbina came up with a plan.

"Do you still know all the old childrens entertainers?" she asked.

"Yeah"

"Go and get them, lead them to whocaresville and prepare for a mighty battle."

"Hmm… sounds like LOTR to me"

"So" said Bobbina. So the white bear swayed off to find the rest of the old age childrens entertainers.

Meanwhile, back in whocaresville the evil zombie entertainers were busy causing havoc and destruction. La La was busy showing Doom to a group of children who were crying and were scared. La La did not notice the whirling sai as they lopped her head off, causing it to roll across the floor, spraying turd blood everywhere. Bill quickly picked up her tubby custard gun because he was scatty and didn't have a weapon. He released a gout of the crappy mixture at the zombie Milo who was doing an incredibly annoying dance, vaporising him in an instant. Miss Hooley pointed at the two surviving warriors and led the charge. Hack!. In an instant, Bobbina had lopped both of her arms off and had hacked her in two. The rest of the fight mostly continued in the same way until a fateful moment when they where incircled. They were closing in. Just when all hope was lost. Bobbina looked up to see a white light coming from over the hill. Standing there was Rupert, who was now wearing a white robe.

"F-ing charge" he cried. Suddenly, a hoard of childrens entertainers of the old charged down the hill. Among them was, Bagpuss, Big Bird and the Clangers. They crashed into the circle of zombiefied newbie childrens entertainers. The clangers, each armed with Tazars zapped Dipsy into a pile of gunk while the count from Sesame Street forced the remaining Boo Bahs to count the bats he had, something to much for the fat blobs to comprehend so they exploded, sending a shower of crap flying everywhere. The modern entertainers broke the fight but were brutally hacked down by the oldies. It was over. The battle for the world was won.

* * *

Note: Did anyone notice a connection at the battle at the end. It was in fact just a cheap copy of LOTR battle scen at the end of the Two Towers. Oh well… 


End file.
